


Just a little longer

by gubby_fish



Category: Divergent (Movies)
Genre: Depressing, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Female Friendship, Love Confessions, POV Eric (Divergent), POV Female Character, Past Tense, Present Tense, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27207340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gubby_fish/pseuds/gubby_fish
Summary: Eric and Maya had been close ever since initiation. Both stubborn as fuck and ruthless fighters.Although one is cold and the other is sweet.- english is NOT my first language. So bear with me.》I do not own any of the characters from the Divergent movies/ books.《》Please do not copy my work/ works《》I hope i haven't had the same idea as someone else...all of my work/works are inspired by the divergent/insurgent movies..and my own imagination《
Relationships: Eric (Divergent)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	1. Part one

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, enjoy. 
> 
> Please comment any grammar mistakes, since english isn't my first language and I'd love to get better ;)

*Eric and Maya have been friends ever since initiation. Funny really, an ex-erudite and an ex-amity. A cold and seemingly mean boy and a shy and sweet girl. They clicked of instantly, basically fighting each other to jump first from the roof to enter the dauntless compound, when they first arrived after the choosing ceremony. In the end they jumped together, or rather fell together because of their fighting. And ever since they have been close and only grown closer. They might even have strong feelings for one another, but both are extremely stubborn so no one would be the first to tell the other about their feelings.* 

*Eric*

Today was field-trip day. Maya and I trained the transfer-initiates together, me as dauntless leader and Maya as instructor. We agreed the kids could use some shooting practice and took them to an abandoned warehouse at the edge of the dauntless grounds. In our minds it was a smart thing to do, the kids could march from dauntless headquarters to the warehouse, shoot for some hours, maybe practice some fighting skills and then march back home in time for dinner. The walk took a little over two hours...’Solid warmup’ as I put it. Maya only chuckled and shook her head from side to side.  
We had grown significantly closer lately. I watched her, watching the the transfers shoot and give them tips. Moving from kid to kid, helping them. A smirk grew on my face as I thought about our late-night movie-marathons and cuddle-sessions.  
In particular the last time she came over to my apartment; we had watched some new sappy romantic movie, which Maya had found annoyingly boring. She had cuddled into my side and rested her head on my shoulder. I continued to watch the actually boring movie as to not move my head and stare at her and be all weird. After some time her head slowly slid down my shoulder and almost made its way into my lap, although I caught her sleeping figure and lifted it back up. As I glanced over her calm and sleepy expression, I turned the tv off and slid my arms around her, lifting her and moving to my bedroom. I cautiously laid her down and pulled the blankets up around her, tucking her in. I bent down and kissed her temple, causing her to stir and slowly blink her eyes open. “Go back to sleep Maya, it’s okay”. Her eyes closed again and a small pout formed on her face as I made my way to the living room to crash on the couch. Her small, groggy voice stopped me. “Stay...pwease Ewic.” So I stayed and cuddled her till the alarm woke us the following day. 

Ah yes, I felt myself falling for her, hard. Lately I had noticed more and more about her. Especially when our eyes caught each other from across a room, like just now. The way her moss-green eyes glinted and twinkled like they were full of stars. Shit I was falling hard.  
It was around noon by now and we had given the kids some time off to relax and eat their lunches. Maya stood and talked to some of the girls, probably gossiping. She had never been the intimidating and scary type like me, no Maya was always up for a good talk or possible new friends. She was the sweetest girl I knew, so good and so friendly and kind. Sometimes I thought she didn’t truly belong in dauntless, that was until she picked up a gun or some knives or stepped into the fighting-ring. There was a reason why she ranked third, after Four and me when we were initiates some years ago. 

I made my way outside to get some fresh air before we would continue shooting at the targets on the far wall at the end of the warehouse. My mind kept wandering back to Maya and her long blond hair, falling in wavy curls over her back and her deep, green eyes I could get so lost in. Or her sweet scent, her (compared to mine) small hands, her soft skin, her lips, her body, her...

I was ripped out of my daydream as the sound of a gunshot rippled through the fairly cold air around me. The following silence was filled with ringing in my ears, out of anger. Some idiot initiate had surely been fooling around with one of the guns. Fucking idiots. I prepared myself to yell at the kid until they were crying, as I stormed through the old, rusty metal doors.  
When I entered, I quickly scanned the large barren room and my breath got caught in my throat. Everything happened in slow motion. Andy, a candor transfer, let a gun slip from his fingers and hit the floor, his eyes wide and full of terror staring to the other end of the room, towards the targets.  
There in the middle laid Maya on her side, her back towards me. Some girls scrambled around her, crouching down, saying and yelling things I couldn’t hear. A loud cry tore me from my paralyzed stance and I walked on wobbly legs towards Mayas trembling body on the ground. My head foggy and perplexed. I pushed the girls away and crouched down by Mayas side, so I could see her face. A painful expression was painted in her face, all scrunched up and eyes filled with tears. My eyes wandered down her body, I was still deep in shock. My eyes landed on a dark crimson spot on her left side, just below her breast. I raised my shaking hands, not knowing what exactly to do. 

“Oh no.” Was all I could say. In my shocked daze my hand reached for the phone in my back pocket, I unlocked it and reached my trembling arm out towards the kids. “Call for help...now.” My voice low and eyes not leaving Mayas now shaking body as more red liquid poured from her ribs and onto the dusty concrete floor beneath her. Suddenly my tense bubble bursted and time seemed to speed up again. Maya was groaning beneath me and in the background I heard a girl explain what had happened into the phone, while others quietly cried. I quickly shrugged my vest of and bunched it up to compress her wound. She was bleeding, and she was bleeding fast.   
“Hey. Hey Maya. It’s okay. You’re gonna be alright. I’m right here.” I pressed the vest further into her ribs to hopefully slow the bleeding down, until help came around. A tap on my shoulder made me turn my head, but not my eyes. My eyes never left Mayas panicked ones.  
“WHAT?!” I yelled out harshly. A small girl mumbled that help would be here in about 15 minutes. She said they were driving as fast as they could. I nodded feverishly and turned back towards Maya, the only thing I cared about right now. She grit her teeth and said something inaudible.  
“What?” I asked in a much softer tone and leaned down to her face.  
“It hurts. It hurts so bad Eric.” I blinked quickly and thought of ways to ease her pain. Nothing came to my mind. I wasn’t prepared for this. But how could I ever be prepared to keep my best friend from bleeding out in my arms? 

“Eric. I can’t breathe.” My eyes refocused and found hers, “I know it hurts Maya. I know. Just keep breathing slowly. Just keep breathing. Help is on the way. Maya you’re gonna be okay.” Tears prickled down her face and I could feel my pulse rise dangerously high. I realized, I was scared. Scared to lose the only person I truly cared about. I quickly scanned my wristwatch to check the time. Mayas breathing had become more ragged and shaky. She tried not to cry as more blood pooled around her, soaking the fabric of my pants around my knees. I kept mumbling, “It’s going to be okay. Just a little longer Maya, just a little longer.” While I pressed the vest onto her and constantly watched her eyes. I tried to block out her groans and sobs. She fought to keep her breath steady. She looked deeply into my blue-grey eyes, “I’m cold, Eric. I’m so cold.” I hadn’t noticed the tears slipping from my eyes as Mayas small voice reached my ears. I didn’t know what to. She kept bleeding and the puddle around us only grew bigger. I started hyperventilating, panic and frustration seeped into my mind, poisoning my body. I was helpless. The only thing I could do was keep the vest secured on her ribs.   
“Eric?” She called out to me. My eyes raked over her limp body. “Yes Maya?” Her tear filled eyes fluttered, she fought to keep them open.  
“Please hold me.” For a moment I hesitated, my body slumped and my posture relaxed in defeat. I couldn’t lay down and hold her, because then the vest would slip and I couldn’t keep her from bleeding. “Please Eric, let go. It’s okay.”  
My bottom lip quivered and I shook my head. “No! No Maya, I have to keep pressure on your wound!” Tears slipped from her eyes, her body gone more limp, if that was even possible. My heart broke into a million pieces and a sob escaped my lips at the sight of her.   
“Please Eric. I’m scared.” Reluctantly I lifted the vest and something moved in my peripheral sight. A hand came down to aid me with the vest. “DONT FUCKING TOUCH HER!” I screamed and threw the vest away. Against my better judgement I scooted down to hold her against my chest. Kissing her damp cheeks and crinkled forehead, I whispered soothing words while she clawed to my black t-shirt. The one she had borrowed so many times at our sleepovers. 

“I’m so scared Eric.” Her voice was now barely above a whisper and her eyelids drooped dangerously close to shutting. “I know honey. Me too. I’m scared too. But please open your eyes sweetheart. You gotta keep your eyes open for me. Just a little longer baby.” Another sob came from my lips as tears and a pained expression appeared on her face. Time seemed to stretch endlessly. I held her close to my chest trying to warm her now frozen body. Her small voice sounded again after what seemed like years. And I stopped my silent chant of soothing words.   
“Eric I’m tired.” My insides froze and a cold shiver ran down my body. The possibility of me loosing Maya grew bigger and bigger even though I fought to push it away. “I know Maya. But please stay awake. Just a little longer.”

Her breaths had slowed and she started coughing. I pulled away to look at her after having my face buried in her hair, for what seemed like a century. Blood seeped out of her mouth and nose and she could barely suck air into lungs before another cough made its way through her airways. After a while her coughing stopped and she was barely breathing now. Tears streamed down my face and I begged Maya to open her eyes and stay awake, “just a little longer. Just a little longer Maya. Maya. PLEASE!” I hoarsely yelled at the concrete. “Maya I love you, please don’t leave me. Please open your eyes....yea that's it baby. Hey there. Hi honey.” At my words Maya fought her eyelids to open and stared into my glossy, red eyes. Now her bottom lip trembled and she croaked out a quiet ‘I love you Eric. I’ve loved you for so long.’ A mixture between a chuckle and a sob escaped my mouth. “Oh baby. I love you so much. I want to marry you, I want a family with you. FUCK. I wanna grow old with you. Please don’t leave me now.” Her eyelids fluttered and more tears poured from her eyes.  
“I’m so tired. I just wanna sleep Eric. Will you keep holding me?” I tugged her tighter into my chest and kissed her hair and forehead. “I’ll always hold you baby. Just please stay awake for me. Okay? I love you Maya.” A small sigh left her lips, “I love you too Eric, so much.” She sobbed and continued, “can I please go to sleep?” By now sobs made my body tremble as well, tears and snot streamed down my face but I couldn't care less. I held her tighter almost crushingly. I had somewhat accepted her fate, which only made me cry harder. Through my cries he managed to say, “yes baby, close your eyes. Remember I love you... Sweet dreams Maya.” My voice broke, and sobs rippled through my body again. I felt her hands squeeze my t-shirt by my chest and heard her little whisper, “I love you Eric. I’m sorry.” Then her hands loosened and her breathing faded to nothing. I felt my own body go rigid and cramped up. I felt the live leave her body and my heartwrenched screams and sobs filled the warehouse. 

Lost in my suffering and mourning, I didn’t hear the screeching tired outside or the sobs from the initiates, that stood frozen and scattered around the room. I clinged to Mayas body as the old, rusty metal doors busted open and two doctors made their way in with a stretcher. Quickly preparing everything, one doctor tried to peel me from Maya. “Sir, we need you to move.” As I didn’t move the doctor yelled. “NOW ERIC! IF YOU WANT HER TO MAYBE LIVE AGAIN! You need to move.” At that I scrambled away, only to be caught by Max, the highest ranking dauntless leader.


	2. Part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit happenes

*Maya* 

Everything was black. Darkness surrounded me and I felt comfortable, warm and at peace. It felt like my body was floating, endlessly through space. Visitig far away planets and galaxies, flying through nothing and laughing my lungs out. Everything was well. Everything was right. I loved this. I wanted to stay here forever.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
*Eric* 

I am pacing the hospital hallways. I hate this. Everything, according to my mind, went wrong. I just want this to end, in a good way. 

Exactly 2 hours and 28 minutes have gone by since Maya got into the OR. Thinking back to the events from earlier I take in a shaky breath and wipe a stray tear away. By now my mind is in shreds and everything inside me is broken.   
I am broken.  
Fucking hell. Please be alright Maya. Please live for me. Its the only thing I can think about. Nothing else matters.  
A doctor walks down towards me and I look up through teary eyes. The doctor stops before me and looks down onto his clipboard.  
"So. The surgeons just finished removing the bullet and closed her up. Right now she is still unconscious from the anesthesia, and she will probably be in a coma while her body heals. She basically bled out and her lungs suffered a lot from the lack of oxygen. Same goes for her brain." The doctor looks me right in the eye and a wave of sadness washes over both of our faces. A cold shiver runs down my back. Oh no. " We can't yet say if she has suffered neurological damage. Only time will tell. We will have to wait until she wakes up. That is if she wakes up...Mr. Coulter I am going to be honest with you, her chances are very slim. I'm sorry, sir. We did the best we could."  
Alright. She's alive. She's living. Her heart is beating. That's good right? She's a fighter, she's gonna make it. She has to make it.  
I thank the doctor and move to the room assigned to Maya. She's already laying there, calm and still in her bed, with tubes in her mouth and electrodes and shit all over her pale skin. Fucking hell baby. Please wake up. I take the chair next to her bed and push it closer to her bedside. As I sit down I grab her cold hand and intertwine our fingers. Raising her hand to my lips I place a small kiss there. I mumble lowly. Nothing in particular, I'm just talking to her, letting her know I'm there.   
"So do you remember the one time, back in initiation, when we snuck out in the middle of the night?" I look at her closed eyelids. " Yea, I was so close to shiting my pants, I was so scared to get caught running through the hallways. But you didnt care, if anything you felt free and wanted to yell and sing and dance all over the place. You were fearless" I laugh lowly and shake my head. "You're crazy you know that right? I love you so much." Slowly I let my eyes wander over her body, thinking about how much shit she's been through. How many times haven't I carried you to the infirmary after a fight? Even though you won almost everytime, you still got some hits. You crazy woman. 

Night crawls over the dauntless compound and I fall into a deep sleep, resting my head on Mayas thighs, and upper body on the bed. My mind falls into a deep world of unpleasant dreams, I can't escape. I am so exhausted from the horrifying day, that I can't fight the nightmares away. 

Maya stands before me, smiling from ear to ear. " I love you Eric." It's the only thing she says. Over and over and over. Everything feels weightless. I hold her tight and kiss her lips. She kisses me back. I'm in paradise, until a gunshot sounds and Maya goes slump against my frame. My body freezes as Maya falls away from me, bleeding and crying. "Please eric. Please help me. Please hold me. I love you." But I can't move, invisible restraints hold me back. Frustrated, my eyes flutter around to find something to help her. My eratic eyes stop, when they reach Mayas limp body again. Everything is red. Blood is seeping from every crevice around the not definable room. Everything, the sky, the ground, the walls, everything is red and sticky. The only things sticking out from all the red are Mayas and mine black clothed bodies. My breathing fastens as Mayas body is sucked into the red pools on the ground. My yells and screams are silenced by blood pouring over me. It drowns me and I can't breathe. Coughing and spitting blood from my mouth, I try to breathe, but to no avail. Sounds fill my ears and everything drowns me. I can't hear anything, I can't see, and I can't breathe. 

I gain consciousness again and suck in a deep breath. Fucking hell. The loud sound from my dream continues filling my ears and strech out in the small hospital room. Then it clicks. Its an alarm. My eyes shoot to Maya and my face looses all colour. The small screen beside the bed, showning her pulse and other vitals, is blinking red. Once again I am paralyzed, like in my dream, I am not able to move or do anything to help Maya. Dark spots fill my vision and my breathing slows down. People in white coats file into the room and move around. A defibrillator rolls in and a doctor takes the shokers and puts them on Mayas chest. A nurse manually intubates her and people are moving fast, finding drugs and giving Maya medication. Someone pulls me away, I can't hear what people are saying, time slows down and my vision goes completely black. 

Beep. 

Beep. 

Beep. 

I open my eyes slowly. Scanning the white walls and cabinets. A nurse walkes into the room. My vision is blurry and i can barely make out the shapes of the objects in the room.  
"Hey there. How are you feeling?" Her soft voice reaches my ears. And I try to form a sentence in my head. "I'm fine. How's Maya?" The nurse looks at my vitals and checks my pupils with a small flashlight. My vision has cleared up, and I can see the soft expression on her face. " She's stable. Still in a coma though." A weight lifts from my shoulders and I breathe deeply. "Okay...what happened to her?" The nurse leans away and sits on the chair next to me.  
"Her heart rate got critically irregular. They had to stop her heart in order to get it back into the right rythm." I nod my head slowly, process her words and stare at the end of my bed. "How long have I been out? When can I get back to her?" The nurse stood up and wrote something on her clipboard. "You've been unconscious for a couple hours. Its almost morning. You should get something to eat and drink, your body needs it." She looks at me like she wants me to say something. I stare back at her and she continues, "you can leave now if you feel alright, but get some food and fluids!" She barely gets to finish her sentence before I'm ripping the electrones and the IV-drip off of me and move out of the room, sprinting towards Mayas. Although everything is spinning around me and my balance is fucked, I keep going. 

I reach her room and cautiously sit down next to her. Again holding her hand. I look at the screens around her, everything looks okay to me. I promise myself, that I'll never leave her again. I'll stay awake and look after her. Talk to her and be there for her. 

.... 

Three days go by. I haven't eaten or slept at all. I dont care. I sit, like I have the past tree days, staring at Maya, breathing through the tube, her chest slowly rising and falling. I feel like shit. No actually i can't feel anything. I dont care anymore. 

Some of Mayas friends have been comming by, checking in on us. Encouraging me to get some rest or left to-go food on the small table next to me. Ignoring all of them, I kept my focus on Maya. Hoping, praying for her to wake up soon.

"Eric?.....Eric, hey man get up. Come on wake up." I hear Zekes voice before i open my eyes. Zeke is one of my closest friends, beside Maya of course. Zeke finished initiation with Maya and Four and I, but never really got acquainted with Maya for some reason.   
"Eric. Come on, you look like shit." I lift my head from Mayas thighs again. My voice groggy and sounding foreign.  
"Fuck off man, im not in the mood." I hear him shuffling around, something hits the trashcan and he grabs my shoulder.   
"Right now I don't care about, what mood you're in. If you dont get your shit together, Maya won't have you to wake up to." At that I straighten my back and furrow my eyebrows.  
"What are you talking about? Why shouldn't I be here for her?" Zeke rolls his eyes and stares at me with wide eyes. "Eric, you have been here for the last 8 days. You haven't eaten anything people have brought you and have barely drunk any water. You haven't slept properly in days. You just sit and stare into nothingness all day. You don't talk to anyone. You don't...you....man you're fading away. You're killing yourself! Eric i love you man, do something."   
I can't look at him. I can't because he's right. It's just hard to acknowledge. I look at my feet and place my elbows on my knees.  
Zeke clears his throat and continues, "look, go clean yourself up, get some food, alright? I'll look after her. I'll call you if anything happenes okay?" I can't leave her. I promised. I can't go. I have to stay. I shake my head and mumble 'no'. "The fuck do mean 'no'? You want me to tell Max, that his best leader is rotting away? Huh? You want that? Or should I kick you out of here myself?" Zeke raises his voice and emotion laces it. I look up at him, to see a couple tears rolling down his dark cheeks. He's close to breaking down, slightly trembling and bottom lip quivering. I feel my own eyes fill with tears and I try to ignore the growing lump in my throat. Zeke looks away and shakes his head. I stand up to slowly walk over to him and embrace his lanky figure.  
We both shudder and hold each other. Fighting to not break down infront of each other.  
"Thanks Zeke. I'm sorry." He releases a shaky breath. "It's okay Eric. Go take care of yourself, I'll stay here." We let go and I nod my head, looking at the floor. I move towards the door and take once last glance at Maya, before I go for my apartment. 

Everything looks like when i left it. Nothing is out of place. Its a shame that I'm nothing like when I left. If only I could turn back time. I walk into my bathroom and turn on my shower. My dirty and worn out clothes scatter the floor. I don't recognize the man staring back at me from the mirror. He's lean and pale. Dark circles around his eyes and his cheeks are sunken in. He looks sick. He looks dead. Nothing like my usual muscular and healthy self. Fuck Zeke. Thank you. If Zeke hadn't said something, I proboably wouldn't have done anything to help myself.  
After the shower I feel like I'm reborn. Well not really because im still missing a big part of myself, which is sleeping soundly in a boring hospital room. But still.  
I get dressed and walk down to the cafeteria. People are staring at me and start whispering.   
'Omg that's Eric!'   
'He's back.'   
'He looks weak.'  
'He looks sick.' 

I try to ignore them and shove some food onto my tray. Actually I'm really hungry, I just haven't noticed I guess. While I eat at the leaders table Max sits down next to me, with his tray of food.   
"Hello Eric...How is everything?" I munch my plain pasta and ketchup and clear my throat. "Everything is fucked." And shove another forkfull of pasta into my mouth.  
"Yea. I'm sorry. She didn't deserve that." I hum my approval and ask him, "What happened to that Andy kid?" Maxs face falls and he looks away into the crowd of people infront of us, laughing and eating. As he doesn't answer I repeat my question. Absently he mumbles, "he killed himself, jumped into the chasm." My figure slumps and I convert my eyes to my half-empty tray. "Shit" I mumble. The kid acted stupid and irresponsible. He caused both Maya and I a lot of pain. But he probably didn't do it on purpose. He shouldn't have jumped. Eventually we would have forgiven him...fucking hell. 

Both Max and I stare into the crowd, zoning out and thinking about Andy.   
A beeping noise rips us back into reality.   
My phone.  
Zeke.  
Maya.  
Fuck.


	3. Part three

Storming into the infirmary I push some nurses away and yell sorry over my shoulder. I quickly move towards Mayas room, the hallway being suspiciously quiet. I barge in and see Zeke sitting beside her sleeping figure. Holding her hand.  
"Well? What's wrong?" I probably look like a wild man, but I dont care. Zeke shushes me and keps staring at Mayas face. "What?" I whisper shout. "Shut the fuck up Eric!" Zeke whisper shouts back. I keep my mouth shut and stare at the two of them.   
Minutes feel like hours, until Zeke shoots up from his chair and smiles like never before. Seriously that guy almost never shows emotions besides anger, like me. And now he's smiling all over his face. "What the hell Zeke?" Confused I shake my head and walk over to him, and grasp his arm. "What. Is. Going. On?" Zeke adverts his brown eyes to mine and his smile only grows. "She squeezed my hand." My mind feels like TV static, I let out a deep breath and can't really understand what he's saying. "I mean not much. And the first time she did it, I wasn't even sure she squeezed it or if it was just like a spasm. But the second time and now. She really squeezed. Like REALLY squeezed."  
I let out a laugh and give him a hug. Very not like me, but fuck that my baby is alright. "Fucking hell. Hey let me feel." I gently push Zeke to the side and sit down next to her, grabbing her warm hand. I lean in and give her temple a kiss, "hey baby, how are you? Can you hear me? I'm right here honey." I sit and wait for her to squeeze my fingers aswell, but nothing happens. I'm still optimistic and wait in silence.

Nothing.

Zeke puts his hand on my shoulder and gives it a pat. "Man it's alright. Maybe she's just tired, you know from squeezing. She'll do it again, don't worry, okay?" A little disappointed I nod my head, "yea, yea. It's alright. I'll wait." He lifts his hand and asks me if I got anything to eat and drink. I nod my head as I stare at Mayas relaxed features. "Alright man. Don't wait up okay? Its getting late, you should get some rest." I look at Zeke standing in the doorway and give him a faint smile, "yea you're right. Good night Zeke. And thank you." He waves and walks out, leaving me with Maya.   
I turn back towards her and squeeze her hand. I stroke my thumb slowly over the back of her hand and look at the small, faint scars on her hand and arm. My head drops to her thighs and rests there again. I turn my head to look at her face.  
"Hey girl...you know, I really miss you... I miss talking and cuddling with you. Especially cuddling, you really know how to make me melt. Like when you gently scratch the back of my head and play with my hair....I love that. And I love you. Don't ever forget that. I'm sorry for what happened. I wish...I wish it never happened and we could be cuddling on my couch right now, watching some shitty movie."   
A shaky breath escaped my chapped lips. I should have gotten some more water. I look at our joined hands beside my face and smile. 

"Where are you right now? What are you doing? I bet you're just being lazy, sleeping and dreaming and being goofy and cute. Like you usually do when were together. I really hope you're doing better.....I....I'm....I don't know how much longer I can stay sane with out you here.   
People are idiots, you know. They say shit about you, about me, both of us. Well really most people feel sorry for you, but some think you are weak and say; if you were really dauntless you would've been awake by now. Fought your way out. They're fucking stupid....They say I'm weak too." A knot forms in my throat and tears start forming in my eyes again. "Maya I can't be weak. Im a leader. I am strong, you always tell me how fucking scary I can be, and how much the initiates are afraid of me. I don't cry, you know that. I'm...I....this shouldnt be happening!" My voice breaks and the tears cascade down my face and wet the papery comforter separating our skin from touching. I keep crying and breaking down till eventually I fall asleep. 

Things are better now. Zeke and I take turns watching her for some hours, to give the other one(mostly me) a break. Almost another week had passed, although no more hand squeezes have happened.   
Zeke tries to keep my spirit up, by trying to make me go to the gym and parties and stuff. Just to get me moving again. I went to the gym almost everyday, to rebuild the muscles I lost when I was down and blue. Peolpe kept talking and I tried to ignore them. Mostly I succeeded, but I also snapped once or twice, resulting in a broken jaw and nose. He could have kept his mouth shut.   
I only stayed in my apartment or Mayas. Once or twice I slept in her bed, just to feel the comfort of her scent again.   
All that hospital stuff smells so bad, makes me sick. 

My mood and hopes really dropped last night, when the doctor talked to Zeke in Mayas room, oblivious to me standing in the hallway eavesdropping. I was on my way back from dinner. I didn't hear much trought the heavy door, but some words stood out, doing better, almost healed, just waiting, anytime, wait longer, losing her, running out, talk to Eric, needs help, talk to you tomorrow. 

It crushed me. She was doing better from what I heard, but if we waited much longer we, I could lose her again. I can't do that. I can't live without her.   
Right now I was sitting beside her again. Max had come by some times, last time he mentioned I should take my time before returning to work. He understood my pain and wanted me to heal as well as he wanted Maya to heal. How nice.   
I have been talking to Maya everyday, like before just letting her know I'm still here, by talking about any and everything. 

Zeke opens the door and stands beside me. "How's she doing?" I shrug my shoulders and look from her face to her hand in mine. "I don't know. The nurse says she's doing better. That her wound is moslty healed by now." Zeke turns and sits on her bed, by her feet.  
"How long has she been out by now?" I think for a moment before answering, "16 days. I think." He sighs, "alright."   
Both of us stare at her while letting time pass by. Seconds turn into minutes and minutes turn into an hour. An hour of silence and loud frightened thoughts about the future. I close my eyes and feel Zeke moving. "I think I'm gonna go. You're good here?" I nod my head and feel a hand on my shoulder. I hear the door opening and before it closes I hear choking.   
My eyes open and look at Maya. She's breathing or rather choking trough the tube in her throat. The lights on her monitor blink again, although not a dangerous red like last time.   
Before I get to realise what is going on, Zeke pulls me away from her, while yelling for a nurse. 

Again everything happens really fast and the only things I acknowledge is Zekes hands holding me up, my ragged breaths and tears blurring my sight. 

In a matter of seconds the tube is coming out of her mouth and her eyes open. Her beautiful green eyes flutter open and focus on the white ceiling. She is gasping for air as her eyes quickly scan the room. Zeke pulls us outside on the hallway, by order of the nurse helping Maya. 

Out there I break down. Zeke lets go of me and I slump against the wall next to the door. Tears streak down my cheeks and Zeke lets out a shaky laugh. "She made it man. She made it." He's standing in the middle of the hallway, crouching down to wrap his arms around his knees. I slide down the wall and let myself rest for a moment. A doctor comes running down towards us and my fear strikes again. 'What if she's not alright? What if something is wrong? Is something wrong?" I look at Zeke and wipe my tears of relief away. Only to let tears of worry take over.  
We take a moment to catch our breaths and gather our emotions before we stand to knock on the door.   
Things seem quiet in there and Zeke slowly creaks the door open. The nurse, Nadia I think, comes out and pulls us with her into the hallway once again.   
"Alright. Maya is doing good, she is awake and responsive. It appears she is aware of her surroundings although she can't speak at the moment." Both Zeke and I furrow our brows and give her a questioning look.  
"She can't speak?" I slowly question. "Not for now, proboably because her vocal cords have been inactive for so long. But don't worry, it's very common." She nods reassuringly and continues, "Doctor Wilson is checking her for neurological damage right as we speak." Both of us nod and Zeke speaks before I can form any kind of sentence, "when can we see her?" Nadia gives us a sign to wait and sticks her head into Mayas room. She returns and smiles at us. "Come on in gentlemen, doctorwilson said it's alright. Take it slow, she is still regaining her memory. She might not recognize you." Fear seeps into my body and we enter the room. 

She's just sitting there, slowly trying to move her arms and legs, regaining her mobility. Maya looks up at us and furrows her brows. I stand awkwardly with my hands in my pockets and look at her frail body. Her barely audible voice fills my ears and makes me so so happy, despite her words breaking my heart. 

"Nadia? Who is that?" I freeze and force my lips to keep smiling for her as tears blur my sight. The room is suffocating me as I feel Nadia brushing past me to stand next to Maya and the doctor moves towards Zeke and explains, what he thinks happened to her memory. My head spins, the room feels smaller and smaller, everything seems unreal and conversations are overlapping as I stand and see my world fall apart before my eyes. 

'That's Eric, and that is Zeke. Do you remember them?' 

'She lost some of her memory.  
Barely remembered her jobtitle and faction.' 

'I dont know them.'  
'But they know you Maya. They might be able to help you.' 

'She might regain her memories. There's no way to tell. ' 

'Nadia I don't want them here.'  
'Maya they just wanna talk.' 

'Give her some time. Let her mind catch up with everything that's happened.'  
'Sure, thanks doc.' 

'Nadia, please.'  
'Maya give them a chance. Alright?' 

'I'll be back later to check on her progress.' 

'I'm scared.'  
'Hey it's alright honey, they won't hurt you. They're here to help.'  
'Please make them leave.' 

'Hey man are you alright. You look pale.' 

I feel Zekes hand on my shoulder and Mayas panicked eyes meet mine for a moment before they turn back to Nadias. 

'Nadia please.' 

'Hey Maya, I'm Zeke. Do you remember me?'  
Her green eyes fill with tears and she begins hyperventilating. Her voice drowns in cries and sobs.  
'Please Nadia.' 

I feel my body getting pulled at and I'm staring at a plain white hospital door, tears falling from my cheeks onto my black t-shirt.   
Painfully aware of Zekes apologetic stare on my back and hand on my shoulder.   
"Come on Eric, let's go. Give her some time."


	4. Part four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the chapter is so short.  
> Kinda have writers block and exams to worry about.  
> ;)

*Maya*

The men come in through the door, while doctor Wilson tells me to try and move my limbs.  
I look up and catch one of they guys eyes. He looks happy and yet sad. I furrow my brows out of confusion. Why do I feel like I know him? Even though his eyes are red and full of tears, he looks menacing. Dangerous. Not someone I like having here.  
I don't recognize the men, so I ask Nadia. The only person I really remember. She helped me once, some time ago when i had busted my knee open during the first stage on initiation. She looks older though, weird. Its only been a few weeks since we started the second stage of initiation.

My small voice breaks the silence in the room.  
"Nadia? Who is that?" She comes over to me and takes my hand, "that's Eric, and that is Zeke. Do you remember them?"

"I don't know them."  
Truth is, i know one of them, i think. Eric. He seems familiar. I think we're in initiation together. Although I don't like him. He's mean and cruel. Fights dirty and would do anything to get in first spot in the rankings. 

But i don't like him. 

"But they know you Maya. They might be able to help you."  
I don't want their help, i want them out of here. I don't trust him.

"Nadia I don't want them here."  
Se looks at me while she squeezes my hand, "Maya they just wanna talk." 

I feel a lump forming in my throat as my breathing quickens. What if he's here to sabotage me again?  
"Nadia, please."  
She lets out a deep sigh and looks deeper into my eyes with a soothing look.  
"Maya give them a chance. Alright?"

Why won't she listen? I feel my heart pound in my chest and fear washes over me.  
My eyes get wet and glossy and my bottom lip begins trembling.

"I'm scared."  
Nadia takes both my hands into hers and rubs her thumbs soothingly over the back of my hands.  
"Hey it's alright honey, they won't hurt you. They're here to help."  
I shake my head from side to side. Why won't she LISTEN?  
"Please make them leave."  
I search her eyes for comfort. The men move at the end of my bed. My eyes flicker to Erics and quickly back to Nadias. 

By now I would beg her on my knees to make them leave.  
"Nadia please."

The other man comes towards my bed and smiles friendly at me.  
"Hey Maya, I'm Zeke. Do you remember me?" 

I don't remember him, but he seems nice. But he's probably friends with Eric. Is he also trying to get rid of me? Did they put me in this hospital bed?  
My eyes quickly fill with tears at the realization of what they might have done or will do to me. My breathing increases heavily and i can barely suck air into my lungs before they push it out again. Fear courses through my veins and i can barely croak out another plea.

"Nadia please."  
Finally she gets it and ushers the men out. As soon as the door closes i break down in sobs and trembles. Panic takes over my mind and screams fill the thick air around us. My screams. I need to get out. I can't stay. 

*Eric* 

Turning away from the hospital door Mayas sobs fill my ears and tears run down my cheeks again.  
As we walk, I more or less drag myself, down the hallway screams fill the air and my body goes rigid. I freeze and Zeke turns to me. 

"Come on man. Let's go." His voice is small and distant. I have to hold myself back, to not run back and hold her in my arms.  
Zeke takes my arm and pulls me to my apartment.

...

Another week has gone by, everyday i visited Maya when she was asleep. The doctor explained, she believed we were still in initiation and she was terrified of me. Why? She wouldn't say. I visited her at night because then I could see her, without her having a panic attack. It might not be fair to her, but I need her. I need her to stay somewhat sane.

It broke my already broken heart. Not only did I almost lose her to a bullet. She was so close to dying. But now I have lost her mind. Which is almost just as bad. 

My days are full of sleeping and walking. I walk to busy my mind with something other than worrying about Maya. She still doesn't want to talk to me or see me. The doctors are little help, as they can’t fix her memory. They keep saying we should have patience, that Maya will remember eventually. 

Well, eventually is a long time.

...

*Maya*

The hospital clears me and I get to come home again. Hopefully this incident doesn’t have to much influence on my ranking. The funny thing is, I don’t remember what happened. I know I’ve been shot, but who, how and when I can’t answer.  
Doesn’t matter anyway, all I know is, I have to stay as far away from Eric as possible.


End file.
